Someone told me that it did not come out clear why I was to hard with my son regarding the lollipop. Well, up until yesterday, we had a similar experience with his sister. This was now between mother and daughter. Two very strong willed people. I will not go into the details save to say that she did not get her lollipop….

Why did we, as parents of these two, resort to being so “mean”? Well, the answer is found in a pocket guide called Temper Your Child’s Tantrums written by Dr James Dobson of Focus on the Family. He says “adult leadership is rarely accepted unchallenged by the next generation; it must be “tested” and found worthy of allegiance by the youngsters who are asked to yield and submit to its direction” (p 16) They want to know how tough their leaders are. If you loose those little battles, those nice, cuddly young ones can turn up tyrannical. They, in effect are saying “I don’t think you are tough enough to make me do what you say”. Take time, look for it and you will see it in your children. Guaranteed.

How you deal with it will determine who establishes themselves as the authority in your family. Are we just establishing this worthiness of authority for the sake of it? Just to show off? Hardly. Dr Dobson again “The ultimate paradox of childhood: boys and girls want to be led by their parents, but insist that their mothers and fathers earn the right to lead them”.

I urge you to get that book by Dr Dobson. It will equip you.