The shop could be Shoprite, People’s, Tutla’s, 711, Game, Woolworths or Marks and Spencer. The point is I am the blue line and she is the red. What is happening here? One of the major differences between men and women.

For me, and most men folk, shopping is a mission: I get a briefing, know what I want, go in, get it, pay and get out…and then get a debriefing. Mission accomplished. For her, it is an experience. She wants to see it, touch it, feel it, talk about it. Never mind the shopping list, she tells me she has been thinking about it for the past few weeks and it’s just that we had not talked about it. She may not even buy it.

Anyway, here are some of the way to get a handle on this scenario;

1. Get her to go shopping with her best friend.

That way they can talk about this and that as the design their red line maze. I hope you won’t drive them there because waiting can be a challenge even if you bring reading material. The other day my wife and my mother (a deadly combination in itself in shopping terms) “shopped” until the shop closed and I was waiting in the car. They went for check out when they realized that it was awfully quiet and there the only clients in there…and I was waiting in the car. The trolley was not even half full…but that’s another story.

1. Go wilt her.

Show her you care about things she cares for .Her personality code is in the red line somewhere. You will most likely be pushing the trolley…behind her as she dutifully draws the red line maze. And it is generally hard to have meaningful conversation. That can be a great time for those of us who like to observe and think things more. It can be a great time to have fun with the kids (especially toddlers). Or try, against all odds, to talk with her. What you are doing by going with her is like asking her to watch a match with you although she has difficulty understanding your fanaticism over it. It makes a statement that pays of in more ways than I can count.

1. Work out a shopping list and a shopping map.

Then execute it together or split. Go to shop A together, then leave her in C as you go to be etc.

1. Sometimes, the mission must be accomplished

Help her understand that there are times you to do the shopping as a mission and not as an experience. This is usually in the interest of time or the urgency of the commodity sought.

1. Get Creative

Have an outing and do window shopping for the things you need to buy that month or week. Do a bargain hunt but don’t buy anything. It can be a great outing.

It does help to remember that over time, you have to work out a shared framework regarding your shopping habits otherwise you end up having arguments over it.

How have you handled your differences in shopping?