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There is one thing I guarantee that every married woman will go through at one time or another. The issue of how to communicate with her husband effectively.

The problem seems to be universal. “He just doesn’t get it. all I wanted to do was to have him listen to what I had to say”. If you are one of those wives who has that problem, let me help. No really, I may come across as patronizing but that is far from the intention.

We need to talk…about your husband. You see, men are…well  fixers. He is wired that way and there is nothing you can do about it in the sense that women are “nurturers”. When he sees or hears a problem, by default he goes into “fix it” mode even when you want him to just listen to you. You cannot change that and neither can he. Alright?

You need to respect that. He fixes and expects rewards in return. As men, we just don’t listen and do nothing about it. Listen, that is what your girlfriends are for. Not  him. However, if you want him to just listen to you, then I have a way out for you. Something I learnt from a chapter from Steve Harvey’s book. Ignore this and you won’t enjoy having your man just listen and do nothing about it.

You could go to him and say something like “Look, nothing is really wrong—I just want to tell somebody something…”

First of all, he will be thrilled that you have chosen him. Secondly, you will have suspended his “fix it” mode. Then you can go on the roll okay. Go nuts and offload.

Warning, he may not respond the way your girlfriends do. In fact he may ask you questions as you are out there on the roll. Appreciate the fact that he is fighting the “fix it” mode which will try to kick in without his wanting to okay.

Pretty soon he will get comfortable just listening to you without wanting to fix it.

And that, sister, is from the heart of a husband who is working on it….