Archive for the ‘Parenting’ Category

Why Was I Firm With My Son? (Part 2)

Posted by Sunga on 24 April, 2008
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Someone told me that it did not come out clear why I was to hard with my son regarding the lollipop. Well, up until yesterday, we had a similar experience with his sister. This was now between mother and daughter. Two very strong willed people. I will not go into the details save to say that she did not get her lollipop….

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Why Was I Firm With My Son?

Posted by Sunga on 18 April, 2008
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This item was filled under [ Parenting ]
Yesterday I took the day off from work and the kids were very happy to have me home in the afternoon. They always are and so am I. It has been quite a drastic change from having dad most of the day (when he was running the family business) to seeing him a few hours per day since he got his new job.
I was taking them home when I met my sister at a filling station. She bought them one lollipop each and we went on our way home. By the time we got home, my son had finished his but his sister, ever the one never to be hurried, was still licking that juicy sweet thing ever so slowly. When I pick them from school, she never runs, she walks like the whole world is watching and she owns the place. She says she is a day…you get the idea.
I am unloading some stuff from the vehicle when she starts crying. Apparently her brother had snatched what was left of her lollipop and went inside the house to munch his prize. I went inside and met him in his bedroom for a little interview. He explains that he had asked Tami to share but that just didn’t fit. I cross checked with her and it transpired that Linga actually snatched it. My verdict? Well, we had some lollipop in the house that was his, so I told him Tami was going to have it…you could have heard a pin drop. Tami, on the other hand, was elated. I tell her that she will have the goodie only after she eating all her food.
We had lunch and Linga told me that he was sorry for what he did. I accepted the apology. After a few more minutes, he told me that he was sad that he wasn’t going to eat his lollipop but Tami was. I told him that I understood him completely but I was not going to change anything. In the meantime, she was busy chewing a mile a minute, looking forward to her reward. This happened three times and that’s not typo!
After lunch, I decided to take a nap on the couch. No sooner had I settled down did the “war” transfer from the dining to the living room. First, it was Tami, who came to claim her reward together with evidence that she had fulfilled her part of the bargain. Her plate was clean. I gave her the pop and she started eating it right there and she wasn’t going anywhere. I guess to safeguard against a repeat of the outside scenario.
Linga, on the other hand, came to plead his case;
“Dad, I like lollipops”.
“Yes, I know you do”
“Can I share with Tami?”
“No”.
“Can I get a hug”
“Sure, any time”. Hug…still hugging…you could have thought the boy has been permanently glued to me. Then he announced that he was going to take a nap (a thing he does daily). Meanwhile, Miss Lollipop-licking-Tami is still next to me, licking away and humming some unknown tune. After she consumed that poor thing, only then does she tell me that she is going to take a nap. Fast forward some three hours later.
Linga wakes me up and says “Dad, I am sorry that I snatched Tami’s lollipop. That was bad. Will you forgive me?” In my sleepy state I say “Sure, I forgive you”. Then he asks me if he can play freesbie with his sister outside. “Yep, sure you can.”
Why was I firm with him?
This morning I told him I have a surprise for him. He is eagerly waiting for it. You want to know what it is? A lollipop for him and his sister…just to see if he got the message.
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Temper Those Tantrums: One Mum’s Strategy

Posted by Sunga on 1 April, 2008
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Children seem to be programmed for tantrums. We have seen them all. They whine, kick, scream like the world is ending, making sure to embarrass mum or dad (or both) and they will do this in the most inconvenient of places because they seem to also have a built in capability for swaying public opinion (or is it pity?). This is what I saw the other day at Shoprite. It was one of those times when I had to get a quick snack and be on my way somewhere. I had just been cleared at the till, walked out to the parking lot and that’s when I saw it: a war in progress. Here was a mother with the shopping in both her hands, walking like she came alone. Behind her, Junior was crying for something like Kamba Puff (a biggie for toddlers in Malawi). He was standing at the entrance of the shop while doing this and his mother just kept going like he does not exist. I had to get the whole act so I got in my car and waited, watching the developments.

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He Did Something Right…for the Most Part

Posted by Sunga on 12 March, 2008
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This item was filled under [ Parenting ]

In the course of this week Linga has been reciting the Lord’s prayer as he is being taught at school. It is very interesting. The first time he recited it I picked up two mistakes (me and my editor’s head!) but I had to hold myself and let him finish his recital. I had to hold my all because of my last blog entry: catch him doing something right. Now allow the editor to kick in:

What he did right

He recited the prayer in record time without hesitation. He was glad he did and also that his mother and I were very impressed. Just for effect, he did it again.

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