Healthy Marriages – Easier Said Than Done

It is a known fact, at least it needs to be a known fact, that a lot of work goes into a couple having a healthy marriage. However, why you look at the overwhelming divorce statistics, you would be tempted to think otherwise. Alongside these depressing stats, I am of the opinion that we should be looking at those who have not divorced and focus on what they are doing right that we can emulate. It is amazing what a change of focus can accomplish.

If you focus on finding a good house to rent, good houses pop up everywhere. If your wife is expectant, you notice expectant women everywhere you go. When you buy a new car, you notice similar models all over town and you think "it was not special after all". But I digress.

Focus is on building healthy marriages. It takes work.

Lots of hard work.

Remember to celebrate the rewards no matter how small they may be.

Healthy marriages consist of (from my observation)

1. A mutual understanding of the differences between the husband and wife and how you can reconcile them.
   
2. Shared spiritual values. Different faiths tend to pull couples apart.
   
3. Effective communication
   
4. In a non-threatening environment.
   
5. Massive prayer.
   
6. Huge servings of humility
   

Healthy marriages are not impossible. You can work to keep divorce at bay and be the statistics on the other side. However, if you have already undergone or are undergoing a separation/divorce, you could think of making up with your ex. The call is yours.

Later
Staying Close: Stopping the Natural Drift Toward Isolation in Marriage 

Marriage and Money –the Wows and the Woes

One of the leading causes of family strain is the issue of money. The reasons are vast. But just to list some;

1. One spouse is a "saver", the other is a "spender". What a perfect match.
   
2. Differences in background. Maybe she grew up with parents who did not think about using their money for long term investments and he grew up with parents who did.
   
3. She takes lots of risks with money compared to him. But then her parents were always in business.
   
4. He thinks the better money comes through running a business and she thinks of the job.
   
5. Priorities for the money. He wants the latest iPod and she is thinking of the diapers for baby 3…
   

Whatever the reasons of the differences, the issues comes back to how you reconcile them. Here are a few steps towards that road;

• Recognize that you are different in the area of money. It will help to list them down and discuss them.
  
• Work on finding common ground you can work with and recognize the strengths in the differences and talk about how you can utilize them for the betterment of the family.
  
• Learn from the Word of God about money. How he sees it, how he expects us to use it.
  
• Do it.
  
• Don't stop doing it.

Money and Marriage God's Way 
Got any more tips you would like to share?

Praying for Your Wife is for Your Own Good

It is far much easier to pray for a wife than praying for your wife. Partly because you are in the state where you are searching. And when the drive to find a mate kicks in, it's like trying to stop the waters of a dam that has burst.


Now you got her and you are that married couple you were looking forward to be. As the months and years go by, you begin to see more woes than wows. And along with that reasons to question whether you should still be together. Praying for your wife does not come easy at those times.

But…


And that's a big BUT…


That is the only way I know how to start getting the juices flowing between the two of you.

See what happens is that when you go to God in prayer and pray for your wife (an exercise my wife affectionately calls "telling you on Dad"), you realize that God has his own agenda for your own good. Many times it becomes me that has to change.


Granted, she may also need to change in some areas but God has his own way of getting to her. Keep on praying and doing all the practical things you promised you would do.


And there is no heart God can't get to.


Pray for your wife. It's for your own good.


Later.

Build Meaningful Relationships – Your Life Depends on Them

Relationships are the top agenda in almost everything that goes on, on and off the planet we live in. Meaningful relationships are what hold this place together. If you are not building meaningful relationships with the people around you, you begin to decay inside. That's the way we are wired.

And if you know anything about wiring anything, then you should now that a short circuit can cause inconveniences of different types o f magnitude.

If you are not able to build meaningful, dynamic and satisfying relationships with those around you, then ask yourself "What I am here for?" If you are truly honest, you will find that whatever reason you are here for, has to do with other people. Miss this and you are in for a long, lonely drive in life.


Here is our action point: begin to observe everything around you. The ants, birds, offices, businesses, online activities. See if you can find any meaningful relationships at work.


An example?


Facebook. It is one of the most visited websites on the planet up there with Google, Yahoo and Youtube. And what is it about? People connecting with people. I ask myself: "Am I using my account there to building meaningful relationships?"


Later.

Why I think Tiger Woods Should Be Left Alone

Just the other day I was watching the press statement that Tiger Woods gave on television regarding his experiences after the revelation of his extra-marital affair(s). Goodness me, the comments that followed by some viewers and commentators made me see just how much undue pressure is being put on the guy. I do not in any way condoning what he has been into but I think some things are better left for him to decide.

Listening to some comments, it’s like Tiger Woods is married to the whole world, or at least the golfing world. Why on earth are some people expecting him to apologize to them as if he married them? Really? Much as he is a public figure but I am not sure he needs to go that far.

I think the major thing here is that he should be given time to work on his relationship with his wife. Because if he looses that, he will have lost the very foundation that would make him go further.

What do you think?

Must You Meet His Family Before the Wedding?

Got this question the other day, from Julie (name changed for privacy reasons)

Good question. Really, in today's world where people like to think of nuclear everything, where we have become the global village, this is a question that seems foolish but is important, very important.


I said very important. Why?


Well, it just so happens that his man you are preparing to marry grew up with these people. They know him, most like more than you do. They have this track record of his wows and woes. It's a wise move to meet them way before the wedding, several times.

And after the wedding. Really.


You will be surprised what you will learn about your husband to be by just being with his family. There is so much insight. Unfortunately for you, these are very personal experiences such that I cannot give you specifics.


Take me for instance, I learnt why my wife likes to watch athletics. The entire fifty something channels on DStv and she lands on athletics. You know, 100metre dash, swimming…the whole thing, when you could easily, very easily land on an Arsenal or Man U match. (Now you know what I watch). Well, it turns out that after some visits, I learn that my mother-in-law is into that, but my father-in-law is like me. That, my friend, basically put the remote control wars I have had with my wife into perspective. 

Very helpful indeed.


So yes, do get to meet his family before the wedding.


Way back before the wedding.


Several times.


And learn something. Warning, you might even end up deciding not to marry him.


Meet them okay?


It's wise.
Preparing for Marriage God's Way: A Step-By-Step Guide for Marriage Readiness and After-The-Wedding Conflicts [PREPARING FOR MARRIAGE GODS WA] 

Turn Your Photos into Cash - 12 Reasons Why This is the Perfect Home Business

Okay I will go straight into the meet of why the www.turnyourphotosintocash.com system is the perfect home business.

1.  You can take digital photos of virtually anything on this planet or beyond if you wish. 
2. You can work from home and choose the hours you work giving you more freedom for leisure time! 
3. You don't even need any experience because even with an average picture, you can make money using this system! 
4. You don’t have to have a website or even any computer technical skills! 
5. You don’t need to possess marketing or sales skills (and you will be your own boss)! 
6. Anybody selling photo products doesn't need to store or ship inventory! 
7. If you already the proud owner of a digital camera, PC and have an Internet connection, you won’t have to spend a cent to get started! 
8. This on-line money-making business is so simple that literally anybody can do it - male or female, any age, any skill level! 
9. You might already have an absolute GOLD MINE of photos just sitting on your computer, meaning you can begin to make money immediately. All you need to do is read the free guide found on www.turnyourphotosintocash.com  and discover just which photos you can use! 
10. You’ll find out just how easy it is to create a residual income - meaning you get paid even while you’re not working! 
11. Demand for Internet digital images is growing on a daily basis, so now is the perfect time to get started! 
12. In plain layman's terms you just can't find an easier way to make money with your digital camera…and you can get started right now!

Get your FREE REPORT on how to make money with just a digital camera, computer and internet connection at www.turnyourphotosintocash.com Then you can decide if this is for you.

Your Name

Sunganani

p.s. You can visit my favorite stock photo site at www.shutterstock.com

What To Say When You Propose Marriage

This is really for the guys because the expectation is that they do the asking. I think it is just natural. Anyway what you say when you  propose marriage is really up to the way you have been relating with the woman/fiancée. You basically have seen a number of pointers that tell you that she is giving you the “come and ask for it”. Women by nature want long term commitment. However you say it, she wants to know that you are

1. In it for the long haul. Once you are in and the ship is sinking, you will go down trying to save it.

2. You are going to love her unconditionally. If anything she wants that love to grow as the years go by.

Sooooo…how do you say it? Don’t know and yes I am married but my case was an interesting one. More on that later.

Here is what has been done by others

• On bended knee with flowers or the ring. 
• Over dinner. 
• During a walk or a hike or picnic. 
• Over the phone. I am yet to hear if facebook works...

Back to my story. I intended to “pop the question” after some time of seeing  her. However, it was how I asked her out that made things awkward. She was trying to ensure that I am in this for the long haul and I said something like, “for me this is about marriage” and that was it. We started seeing each other and somewhere in those three years we started making wedding plans . I just never “popped the question”. And get this.

Are you sitting down. Ok.

10 years of marriage later she still wants me to “pop the question”. Says she misses the experience.

Help.

Anyone?