Between Marriage and Wedding: The Mistake Most Couples Make

There is a big difference between marriage and a wedding. As I have said before on this blog, a wedding is an event or a ceremony, if you like, that marks the formal beginning of the institution of marriage. Mark those emphasized words. One is an event the other is an establishment.

The mistake the bride and groom make, helped by just about everybody else, during their wedding preps is that they tend to lose sight of the institution of marriage. As a result, we end up with so much emphasis on the wedding party, the church ceremony, the reception, cake, clothing, honeymoon that we almost forget that there is premarital counseling to be done. So we sprinkle that somewhere between the church and the reception.


It is like life after graduation. I wish someone had prepared me adequately for it. I shook the Chancellor's hand, got the drum beat and applause, took pictures with family and friends then I was ready to face the world…or was I? Years later, I kind of think the school system should have very realistic career guidance counselors. There is certainly a lot that should have been done better!

Here are a few things that will help you see what I mean;

1. We tend to speak of the bride and groom more than the husband and wife to be. Diversion: Notice the switch in arrangement?
   
2. Compare the amount of time spent preparing for the wedding versus preparing the bride and groom for the marriage.
   
3. Look at how much resourcing the wedding gets compared to the marriage. It is interesting to note that some marriages start off in debt or a without a place to stay or something that, most of the times, has to do with lack of preparations. So already the marriage starts off with stress it does really not need!
   

There could be more but the point is: there is clearly a lack of focus here. Am I saying that the wedding should be stripped of all resourcing and attention? No. Not really. But we might just as well if we do not help the husband and wife wanna be's to focus on and prepare for the long term, enjoyable and rewarding institution that marriage is.

What do you think?