No, not the movie with DeNiro in it but the idea is similar. I am talking about the other thing you must do before you say "I do". In fact, I will go further and say meet the siblings; sisters, cousins, uncles, aunties…the whole lot…as much as you can. Don't pull your hair out if you cannot meet all of them. At least get to meet the parents and siblings or at least some of them. So exactly what are you looking for?
Well, there is soooo much you can learn about your husband or wife to be by just meeting his or her family…several times, before you say I do. You get to know the "support system" of your spouse. You will have an inkling of what to expect in some areas of your relationship. Although everyone has their best foot forward (if that will be your case!), you will be able to catch a few unguarded moments where a bubble (unplanned habit or comment is out) and bingo! You will have some much needed insight into your spouses' character. That's more ammunition to help you improve your relationship.
Remember that he/she has grown up with these people. They have been at the core of forming who he/she is today. I recall the afternoon when I first met my parents-in-law. You could hear a pin drop in the room, at least for the first few minutes. By the end of that two or so hours, I leant that my father-in-law likes the news channels, you know BBC, CNN, Sky News plus sports, football (soccer) to be exact. My mother-in-law on the other hand, likes BBC Food and anything to do with athletics. Translation: I like the news channels, sports and educational documentaries like Discovery, Animal Planet etc while my wife likes BBC Food, athletics….catch my drift? That visit and the subsequent ones gave me a good pointer of what to expect regarding the "remote control wars". Meet the parents, okay?
Another area has to do with the type of family your spouse comes from. My wife has five other siblings. Two sisters and three brothers. I have two sisters. That's it. You get to learn quickly, before and after the wedding, that you have to adjust your relationship in light of the number of siblings you grew up with. Your expectations regarding them will definitely affect your relationship. Meet the parents…and siblings. Okay, even after you say I do. It's the biggest favour you can do for yourself before you say I do.
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